Helping My Child Practice Independently by Ms. Stella Bonilla

Ms. Stella and her son, Andreas

Helping my independent child practice independently

I love being a parent of music-lessons-taking child.  Since my 12 year old son so honestly admitted, “No offense mommy but I am much better off if you are not my teacher,” I have resolved to siting comfortably on the parents couch, relaxing and watching him interact with his teacher and learn. 

My favorite activity now is taking notes.  I start with fresh page, put the correct date on top and write the first category: scale, review or appropriate warm up activity, as requested by the teacher.  As my son plays, I listen intently.  When he stops awaiting comments, I write down as many key phrases as I can hear in his teacher’s comments: relaxed shoulders, bent bow thumb, fingers on tapes, bow in third lane.  As he plays to make corrections, I observe again, how is it this time, what helped him.  I proceed in the same manner through the rest of the lesson, which will include two or three more sections: technique (tricky spots, previews, etudes) and main piece.

You may ask, why go to such length?  Because not only am I not my son’s teacher anymore, but I am also constantly asked not to be a part of the teacher-student-parent triangle.   My son is an independent practicer!  And this is SO hard for ME!  For me, who KNOWS how to make things easy, who has been there done that! “Thanks but NO”, he says.  He is independent!

Here is where my detailed notes become so handy.  I design a practice chart modeling the lesson.  Let’s say he starts with a scale (or review); I specify the goal and number of repeats, as well as tempo at which to be played (nothing fancy, if in doubt slow is always good).  Sometimes each repeat can have a different goal, for example, first time: long full bows, second time: relaxed shoulders, third time: correct intonation.  I proceed in the same manner with the rest of the pieces, specifying measure numbers, isolating small sections, assigning one short goal at a time, as well as number of repeats. 

I also go back to the notes of the previous lessons.  If I notice that relaxed shoulder, or bent fingers has been mentioned over and over, I make sure to include it in every practice chart, again one of the repeats can be dedicated to that goal.  Some skills take longer time to acquire, or they come back when the level of complexity of music or the context has changed.  However, I also try to switch the goals around in order to avoid mental fatigue or tuning out, as well as to challenge different hands, fingers or muscles.

 

While he navigates through the steps, my son also checks each activity as he progresses through the practice.  He knows what amount of work is done and what is left.   

Oh, and he stopped asking “Are we there yet?”